A very Happy New Year to you all!
I wonder what a new year means to you? Do you set goals to achieve during the year, make resolutions to do things differently or is it just the same old, same old?
The last blog I wrote was about the life I didn’t live when I was wondering about how my life might have fared had I made a different decision when I was at a crossroads about my future, earlier in my life.
Similar, but different, this blog is about living the life we were meant to live. Both these concepts depend on the choices we make, consciously or unconsciously, about our lives. Some of our choices will be well thought through, whilst some may be more spontaneous and, in the moment, and then there will be some that we perhaps don’t give much thought to because we believe our lives are what they are and nothing will change that.
But I wonder what living the life we were meant to live means to you?
Eric Berne’s, founder of Transactional Analysis, ultimate aim was for humans to feel autonomous and not to be trapped or tangled up in their past, whatever that looked like, and to be able to make decisions about how to live their lives well, now and in the future.
When people ask me about my job as a psychotherapist and what it is all about, I say that in its simplest form, my job is to help my clients to have the very best relationship with themselves as possible. Easier said than done, because so often our past and our interpretation of the past, impact greatly on how we feel about ourselves, others and the world. All of these can sadly hinder us living the best life we can because of how we feel about our past, in the here and now and how that affects how we are day to day, and ultimately the choices we make in life.
However, when we understand ourselves and our past, when we forgive and/or congratulate ourselves and others for some of the experiences we have had and choices we made and marvel at how we have survived with strategies we put in place to do so, then we can begin to trust ourselves to make different choices for our future.
Only then does the world, with all its challenges, feel easier to navigate.
It takes courage to step into the unknown and do things differently. I have needed help and support to do this review and refinement of my life and the choices I make to live the best life I can with the resources I have. I still do need help and support. I am eternally grateful to my therapist, my supervisors, colleagues, close friends, family and peers who have all invested time with me to help me to live the best life I can.
And living the best life we can starts with having a good relationship with yourself, loving yourself, understanding yourself and trusting yourself to make good choices about what this looks like for you and the significant others around you.
I wonder if resolving to know yourself better, to love yourself more and to trust your choices for the future is a positive way to start 2025.
Go well and I am wishing a happy and prosperous new year for you, not in financial terms per se, but in terms of your personal growth and inward happiness as we navigate the world with self compassion and care.
There will never be anybody like you in the world again. You are unique. So live the life you were meant to live and enjoy it.
Fiona Cook
January 25